![avril lavigne replaced avril lavigne replaced](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/76/34/ab/7634ab283086186f56cb7d5db29a463a.jpg)
Oh, and there were a lot of subliminal messages about shopping at Hot Topic. Her record company and handlers were talked into / coerced into having the body double Melissa, who was secretly part of the Project Monarch Illuminati mind control program, take over for Lavigne and use her songs for back-masking demonic messages and general mayhem, like, you know, getting the youth to do subversive things like wear ties with t-shirts and cargo pants.Īfter the popular singer died in 2003 at the first explosion of her success (note that she was blonde-haired when this came about, hence the blonde in the video), the Illuminati (represented by the raven-haired singer) sacrificed her to Satan and replaced her with a demonic acolyte who was a willing altar for a reptilian shape-shifting demon, the nerdy Melissa, who literally sold her soul to become famous and replace the real Lavigne. And, so she was, and, so, enter: Melissa Vandella the body double.Īccording to this theory, the real Lavigne was killed, but it was made to look like a suicide, in 2003.
![avril lavigne replaced avril lavigne replaced](http://beta.ems.ladbiblegroup.com/s3/content/142269265c63827988c728330e5b4af5.jpg)
However, by this time, she had become too famous, and knew too much, and needed to be eliminated. “Whew! Somebody cut the cheese in here! Will ya light a match, Melissa?”Īccording to these nefarious theories, Lavigne resisted joining the Illuminati and didn’t want to participate in the blood sacrifices required to be a part of the group and continue and increase her fame. She plays a kind of dowdy, modest girl with glasses and reddish brown hair she plays a rebellious, dark-haired rock vixen who is trying to take bespectacled Lavigne away and she plays the blonde-and-pink haired singer of the song. Gracias.)Īnyway, as I was saying before that necessary pre-apology before I triggered anyone, in “Girlfriend,” Lavigne is shown in multiple roles. (Note: The previous paragraph was meant as a joke and was not meant to offend the Amish, the beardless, the hatless, people still trying to figure out zippers, the Swedish super group ABBA, the ghost of Casey Kasem, Carrot Top, Rerun on “What’s Happenin’,” Todd, the mean ocean, your mother, the trollope on the street corner, Harry Potter if he existed, or Mr. (They absolutely LOVE her song “Girlfriend.”) Which is ironic, because that 2007 song and its video are part of the alleged evidence of the body swap. I know, I know, I know… you’re like, “Oh Sean, EVERYONE knows about that!”īut what about the one or two Amish folks out there, who are just getting onto the internet, perhaps just trying out, and seeing my column for the first time? Maybe those folks, now beardless and hatless, and still trying to figure out zippers, are completely in the dark about this incredibly important bit of news about Avril Lavigne, who, it’s well-known, is incredibly popular among the Amish. (Fifty feet MEANS fifty feet, Kanye!)īut rather, the fact that Avril Lavigne possibly died (or was murdered) and replaced with an Illuminati body double. No, not my relationship with Kim Kardashian. So I think it’s time we had a difficult discussion on a sensitive topic that, quite frankly, I’ve been avoiding talking about for a while.
![avril lavigne replaced avril lavigne replaced](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d2/3c/64/d23c64f80afcf48661207bb982939edd.jpg)
There have been a lot of horrible things going on in the news lately.